WAI:Having it, eating it and choking on it!

So hands up if your mum used to say to you well you can't have your cake and eat it?!! Well mine did, and I think I can safely say that it took a good while to understand quite what she meant. So in my mind just so we are clear it means if you eat your cake you won't have it! So I  I have been known to spout off that you can have your cake and eat it but you may end up choking on it! So here I find myself, trying not to choke on my cake! This is the thing, you know how much I love my zumba and how much I love  my slimming world class on a Monday! Now I have to say my intentions were always pure, I wanted to improve my my weight losses, I already went to zumba on Weds evenings  and I wanted to add another which happened to be on a Monday the same day as my SW class in fact it was at the same time! So I started coming to the earlier  class, but this was to prove more and more difficult, as getting away from work early enough, was hard, and the trains are so unreliable, but still i persevered, practically and logically,  it was clear that i was really supposed to choose between the two: zumba or SW, but that was impossible, I love both equally, they both have a related but distinctly different role in my life. So against the odds, week after week, so i trudged, and tried to get away from from work on time,  having my cake and eating it so to speak. 

 More often than not the trains would disappoint, and my weight losses were not great, 1lb here 2 lb there! 3 off 2 on it all got a bit much, making sensible choices while out then became a chore, I could feel myself like a two year old throwing that tantrum, rolling around on the floor screaming, but I want that cake, it's not fair! ( no I'm not mad, this is a virtual tantrum- one in my head) and more often than not, I'd have the cake! 

So here we are 2 weeks before Xmas, and I've not been able to get to class for two weeks in a row now, not good, because more than anything now is when I need the tips for staying in control over Xmas, the best place in the world apart from zumba where you are not judged!  I remember thinking one day what it takes to be really good at SW, there's this lady in our class who is at target and she mentioned that she had given up baking which she is actually quite good at! I like baking and I bake all sorts of things with scan bran but every now and again I want the real deal and then I get a penchant for it and I don't know when to stop! 

On and on it goes, so in the end indiscipline has gotten the better of me! I have choked on the proverbial cake!  Because of this desire to do both one definitely has suffered a bit, to be brutally honest, it is SW ( or rather my ability to attend and reap all the benefits of it) has suffered! Now here's the thing, I have benefited greatly from the increased exercise, my clothes fit better, in some areas they are even too big,  I feel better, fitter, so what is a girl to do! 

What I am going to say though is that my behaviour around cakes, chocolate and other pieces of Devils food, has gone awry to say the least, and this is where not attending SW properly has had the biggest impact! The coping strategy tips we share are priceless and for me reading those things on a blog ( ha ha) or in a magazine just don't do it for me, there is nothing better than seeing someone tell you this or tell you that, especially when you are seeing their progress too! My desire to bake cakes has returned with a bang, not good, did I say that already I think that is definitely worth a repeat! 

So what is a girl to do? The other repercussion of my antics is that I actually miss my SW consultant because she is warm and funny, I like her real and pragmatic attitude, I feel like I have been separated by force from a friend I miss my fellow Slimming word peeps. So yes that's there. I need to get my attitude in check and make it match my desire to shed  the pounds! 

I remember a few months ago a friend of mine said that I should consider that this is how I am supposed to be! I dismissed that as a negative attitude... What I have come to know is that life is not a race, despite there only being a finite time on this earth, some of us do have to take the scenic route, sometimes more than once! On this note I can say for sure, that I will be back at SW very soon, as soon as I have stopped gagging on the cake!!!!!!!!!

WAI! So, did the pan au chocolàt get the better of me?

So, here's the issue, I'd had a couple of days off work and it was so fabulous,and despite having put in a 1&1/2lbs at SW last night, I woke this morning full of enthusiasm and good vibes! I'd had the talk with myself, I was going off the bread again, that was a stand off  I lost! I was not going to eat a sandwich with cheese, ham spring onions and Mayo or the bacon sandwich for breakfast, I was going to drop into M & S and get some blueberries and pomegranate to have with my porridge! I'd packed my lunch and my snacks! Yes- does that not sound like the perfect SW day? Well the truth, that was my plan, but this is what happened: I was very proud of myself for waking up early, and getting on the 6:59 that would get me into the office for 8:15am to prepare fur my two meetings, to be ready for whatever is thrown at me, so at  7:50 I had arrived at London

Blackfriars, I was busy walking along the platform to the underground along to my general playlist when just as I was about to step down the stairs I get a tap on my shoulder! I turned to see this pretty young girl " I have to tell you this" she says? I look at her slightly bewildered wondering what she was going to say- imagine my shock horror when she says "your skirt is torn, we can see all your tights and everything, you might want to go to the ladies and fix it!" Hmm therein  lay the foundation of the disintegration of my day, which in all honesty hadn't really gotten off the ground! 

There I was in the ladies checking out my skirt, which was indeed torn all the way down from the bottom of the zip down to the bottom including the slit! Dismay of the highest order is the best way to describe how I was feeling!  So after that it was tick tock, it was all a blur as I pulled the skirt round to the front in an attempt to limit the view of the  damage and made a mad dash to Victoria where my office is, there are shops there! So that's how at 8:15 instead if being at my desk I found myself in Dorothy Perkins! Imagine that! Of course it's obvious there were no navy skirts to replace the one I was wearing! In fact in the end I had to compromise I bought a grey check skirt because there was actually nothing there that matched my blouse, and in fact it got worse, I mean when did my shoulders get so wide??? No kidding, anyway time was going and I was really not in the mood for chopping and changing, after all  I had emails to check, reports to read and bloody meetings to prepare for.  So settling on the grey check as the replacement then meant I had to ditch the original navy blouse I was wearing I kept my cardigan on!  By now it was 8:40 I was soooo hungry I could have eaten a cow! Of course the porridge was out if the window seeing as I had a 9:00am meeting! So by now I  didnot really know what I was going to do I stood in the queue at upper crust but that was going nowhere  fast so I abandoned that idea and headed to my office! By now I was ready to kill really, in the end my friend gave me a pan au chocolát! And just like that i had consumed God knows how many syns, syns that I did not plan for, did mention those type of syns in my plan??  

So now I have an issue? why did I just  take the pastry? Why did I not resort to my hifi light bar, or my 2 little bananas? In the space of my so called stress I had managed to convince myself that i did not want those, that they were not viable alternative to my waylaid porridge plans? And yes really it was in the blink of an eye! It was simply indiscipline of the highest order. Don't get me wrong, my stress and dismay was real, but the point I am making is that why did that have to translate into the pan au chocolate? I don't get it. I have worked really hard to improve these habits and in the end, I reverted to type!  My saving grace came in the end in the form a text message from my consultant Cathy..she really is the best.  she was texting to encourage me after my gain yesterday.  So I sent her a text message back, we had a good little exchange and voilá I was back, to the land of the disciplined.  Still it took until coming home and going to tae kwan do to sort my mood out. 

WAI: hold the discipline

So, today Tuesday the day of the week full of key bloody meetings starting at 9:00am is the day my senses were immune to the annoying tone of my alarm! Either that or it didn't go off! The latter swears my darling husband! Either way I was late  and all the rules of engagement I'd made just yesterday were in jeopardy!  Apart from being very late I was also very hungry, I swear there is a conspiracy against me and my desired weight loss!  It was everyone for themselves as we rushed around each other! No lift this morning and to add insult to injury the taxi did not arrive on time! I wanted to scream! I caught a bit of s break by having company on the train, but I was still a tortured I was hungry and I was rushing into a meeting with no reprieve! You can imagine that I really fancied grabbing a bacon sarni with all the trimmings, as what I had planned was out of the window now( porridge when I got into work) and so today has been a starving day I've managed to stay in plan, but at 3pm I thought I was going to drop down I was that faint! My colleague assisted by getting me a tracker bar before I was finally reunited with my lunch at 3:20! So I'm happy that I held onto my discipline! But boy it was close! 

My personal war against Indiscipline:vexatious Shame!

Poor choices

So in reality, in the traditional sense  of the word I should be so ashamed of myself right now. So here's the deal, the reason, I say this is because I have not long come back from SW club tonight where i had put on a 1 and a half, yes, its my first gain for a while, yes it could be worse, and so on and so forth! Now I had worked really hard, over the last couple of weeks to gain the losses I did, so then I just go and throw it away by lousy choices and indiscipline.  Clearly right now in this moment, I have to say, I am losing the battle, but hell I am dammed sure determined to win the war.  So we heard a lot at class today, poor planning, too much bread, too many excuses, unravelling knitting, mars bars, etc I could relate to nearly all of it, but in the end, I have to stand up and be counted. So the key thing that we did hear that we hear often and as a long time SW member I am aware of the beauty of it, of  how forgiving it is, a place where you can feel comfortable when things don't go according to plan, and then just pick up where you left off! So, my question to myself is this: how many times am I going to be doing this? Its like the you keep doing the same wrong thing to your mum, teacher who ever, and keep saying sorry. At some point we will realise its deliberate and the forgiveness may not be given.  Ok, rant over, so what am I going to do? So I love SW, the diet, the company everything about it, so i am going to have to rethink my attitude towards it.  So there is a track we use at zumba, its called no excuses. and that is the rhetoric, just do what needs to be done, I have already given up drying diet coke, so the next thing to tackle is bread, especially white bread, and rice. Well i can't give up rice, but i have decided to have at least 3 rice free days in a week. Today when I got back from Slimming world, after giving myself a good rollicking, i made some dahl, to have with grilled fish and spinach. that will be day 1 of my challenge. 

eek.... lets see... 

My personal war against indiscipline: it's time!

F

So this is it! Today I went  out for my bestos 50th birthday and this is how I looked after the event! So let's rewind back to the morning, those white trousers were a pair that I'd bought last year for a while party! At the time it was a great effort to get into them and they remained very tight!  Now they are testimony to how many inches i have actually lost! People have been saying for weeks how much weight it looks like I've lost, but I found it hard to believe as it has not shown up on the scales they came on really easily and I was really happy! 

However it got me thinking that , I could have done a lot better if I had remained focused! And that's my problem, always losing focus, making poor choices, also not taking the time to consider that rather than just worrying about what's wrong with what im doing, I should rather be thinking about what positive changes I could make! 

Now I have made some goals, which should assist with my wider aim of being fit and happy! Losing weight should be a positive side effect! 

To assist with this starting from Monday there will be no bread for msnikkidee  from Monday to Thursday and I am aiming to cut down on the amount of rice I eat, it's a food I rely very heavily on and I need to understand if its a negative contributor to my weight loss

So wish me luck folks! 

My Personal War Against Indiscipline: The Next Chapter!

So I have to return to my war against personal indiscipline?  The hiatus on being quite stern on myself has worked in some areas of my life but not others! Oh yes I've upped the anti on exercise I have even gone back to Thursday's at tae Kwan do ( let me hear a big yaaay!!) But food wise I have been on a roller coaster ride! 

Now don't get me wrong I still love slimming world and its ways but I have to be honest I have gone long periods where I just could not muster up the desire not to have cake, not to have that extra glass of wine or to make those sensible choices when I am out with friends and family!  This does not include the constant battle with those colleagues around me who insist on bringing stuff into work, and directly offering it to me and I trust me I genuinely feel bad when I see the little look of disappointment when I try to refuse and I often find myself relenting and then it's all at my expense quite often undermining good efforts I have put in else where! 

There is a slimmer's blog I follow the person concerned calls herself ( a bit of an assumption seeing as it's anonymous) weight loss bitch! Imagine that! Anyhow in one of her blog articles she talked about training in order to lose weight likening it to training for a marathon, she made a good point, an honest one as  it's not likely you can rock up at the London marathon and expect to win just on the back of turning up, so she was referring to learning about food etc , reading the books we are given and trying different things! 

For me I have decided that I am going to try a different track now and set some specific goals with milestones and everything, what have been doing before is just accepting it as a lifestyle change.  But invariably what has been happening is I have just slipped off the edge after all I have my whole life to do it yes!  Well, no actually, I need to realise the benefits of it beforehand, before I actually start to feel old! 

The actual goals and milestones will be another post, but some small wins that I have made of recent, 

 

The inch reduction, not as much as I would have liked, but a reduction none the less.

My fitness level has improved a great deal, walking to the station no longer feels like such a chore ( except if it's raining), I can do proper full press ups, even running round the dojan is not so bad -  ( and yes I still hate running) 

I have given up drinking diet coke as a comfort drink, as in I always just had one with my lunch, now I do drink more water , but not enough! 

I can now stay in the plank position for 60 straight seconds!  Quite a feat considering that initially I could not even get in the position!

Now it's quite clear that my life in this area is not balanced, in my mind's eye, if I'd paid more attention to my food that I would be at least a dress size and a half smaller by now? So I have to step up, pay attention and get on with it! 

False memory

So people, how often do you go to reach for something like a bunch of keys or a book and it's not where you'd swear that you put it?! So that's what happened to me last night, nothing really odd there, but it's just that I distinctly remember taking the keys out of my bag to put something in that I wanted to give to my friend at zumba! Thought nothing of it, until I got back home from zumba and whilst sat in my friend's car went to get the keys from my handbag and oomph they weren't there! But the thing is I was absolutely convinced that I'd left them at the zumba place, we searched and searched the car and emptied my bag which by the way contained only my water bottle, wallet and towel! All to no avail.  Queue the decision then should I go in get my own car keys and go get my spare keys, ( him indoors was home) so it's not as if I was locked out,anyhow two phone calls later I'd decided to go in first, that with trepidation I must add seeing as my beloved LFC was losing away in a champions league match and there is no consoling my sweetie when this happens and I would drive round to my friends to pick up my spare set! So I banged on my window this is customary for those who know us and immediately I got in there they were in all their glory on the corner table, and immediately I remembered putting them there! So why was i so sure that I put them in my bag?   That happens every now and then, and I'm allways so curious as to why we are convinced that we did one thing when we actually did another! It's the same as when trying to remember what we are during the day especially in relation to keeping a diary in regarding weight loss! 

Anyhow was just curious! 

 

Let it go!

So this man got Me thinking or rather  he reminded me of a conversation  that we had last night before we started our zumba class! We had asked Jose how he go on in London and he was saying how unfriendly people were like they were pod peopl with their innocuous staes that sometimes he would stare at them just to get s reaction! Ha ha very funny, he himself always looked away if they stared back! It's the old thing of the unfriendly large city! So back to this man, it's my opinion that the long upright  poles on the tube are there for the benefit of many rather than one person but quite often il get on a tube and someone would have  wrapped their whole body round it! Yes really even in times of heavy usage! I think people need to be more aware of themselves when they are in public places!  Yes the advent of modern technology and social media means that even in public it's easy to remain in their own little world and this is also true of those who don't participate! Does this though exclude us from basic manners? When we do our cool down we do it to the song ' human nature- by Michael Jackson ' and there's a line in there that says reach out and touch a stranger and each week Jose will say "not if you are in London"  I always find that really funny! 

I will not be told! Its up to me after all!

So ladies, gents all of you who have a relationship with your work colleagues!! So we as in my colleagues and I are going out in Friday after work and today the organiser announces that firstly I have to dress up? Why I ask? What's wrong with how I normally dress on a Friday? Well you have to dress  up to the place she says and in fact you have to dress up in 1930's style! Well I'm not doing that i bellowed, I mean I already dress rather nicely and I'm not willing to come to work dressed like that besides I don't actually have anything, her response? Wear some pearls! Hmm if only it were that simple then my other colleague waded in with his size 9 boots- look he goes some people can't dress up- very funny what's he trying to say that I dress like a tramp?! Anyhow does this make me a part pooper? I don't quite understand the need to conform at this level of society- I have enough of that in my personal background in particularly in light of how we like to be uniform at weddings and other milestone events! So a Friday night work outing is off limits in its attempt to dictate how I dress or behave! 

8 Days in September: part 2 - what I think I know!

So anyone who knows me  knows I wax lyrical about zumba, about Tae Kwon Do all the time, but going out training with my husband ( or the colonel as I have recently started referring to him) that was a completely different ball game. However what the two weeks has taught me about myself is quite interesting, so I have different responses to the three trainer men in my life.

They are all so different from each other, and encourage in very particular ways. 

So Lieutenant Colonel Akiti:  Army Man! (my man)

He pulls no punches, definitely favours the carrot and stick, although if you were to ask me I'd say he favours the stick more than the carrot, ha ha 

It has me trying very hard, but it was a bit frustrating when it felt like my efforts were going unrewarded, and it was hard, and as hard as it was I still want to do more, on a regular basis, I found that I had to ask a lot of questions, about the whys and the wherefores. I would do it all over again, in a flash except I would want my creature comforts, so I would always prefer the fancy Wardown park or a gym  over leagrave common. Having said that this is the love of my life training me here, so maybe there was a bit of hardness there just to be kind, because whether or not he noticed there is something to be said for training with your partner, but inherently you have to want to do it. In the end, you had to work out the the value of the stick vs the value of the carrot in relation to your over all objective. I have been left with a lot of 'homework' to do on this trip, and I have to be honest I am struggling without the army supervision. What does that say about me? The desire to achieve is there, the subject matter is just not the best and if I live to be a 100 I will not like running. Clearly I am able to do this type of exercise when its sugar coated! After all, Mary Poppins was not wrong when she said " a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"!

Tae Kwon Do Instructor: Miles- The impressively surreptitious one:

Tae Kwon Do is a really cool Martial art and I have been striving for my black belt for far too long now, one  of the things I learnt from the colonel was that I am slightly unbalanced and he reckons that it could have had an impact on my grading. Anyhow I digress for the moment. Now I would tell you that I am not easily tricked, yes? So get this, the three times I went to tae kwon in these two weeks we did line work and patterns, (now for those of you who don't know in TKD, patterns are a set of attack and defence movements as if against an imaginary opponent. ) on one occasion we did the patterns under so many different kind of conditions, do it again, faster, more power, no power, forget about your stances, sometimes it was funny, but your heart was beating so fast you could not laugh, because you were getting a blooming good work out and while you may have expected it, it crept up on you! What is the driving force here?  How come I can do this without complaint ( although I hate jogging around the Dojan) and positively look forward to it?  The answer probably lies within the subject matter, I want to get a black belt and become a First Dan, I want to be good at it. One is not particularly aware that one is working out so the inspiration from your instructor is all quite effective and quite simply I enjoy it 

Zumba Instructor: Jose- the loving one!

He showers us all with love and acutely infectious enthusiasm. When I first started going to this class, I used to describe it as nursery school for adults.  There is so much energy and enthusiasm  couple  that with a party atmosphere  and boom boom shake the room is what you get.  His classes are so full of fun and giggles you are enjoying yourself so much that you dont even know that you working out. Jose is like the wonderful host of the party, he pays us all loads of attention, keeps the routines very interesting, and we always leave with a party pack- sweaty clothes and achy muscles.  The drive to go to zumba is a no brainer, when I am there I am truly happy. Even if i have had a shitty day, or have a headache, these are despatched immediately I am at zumba with Jose and all the other zumba party peeps. I am always on a countdown to the next class. 

The final Verdict

So the final verdict is that I am not disciplined enough to follow through on my own. I need a great motivator and as you can see I am lucky enough to be able to respond different types of motivation! 

It's also clear that I need to do more, in the sense it needs to be spread all across the week.  Right now,  if I'm lucky I get tae kwan  doh on a thurs but mostly my workout week stops on a weds evening ( with a bang of course as that's zumba with Jose) and I think my  body reacts to this pattern, in that it stores stuff like fat ( ha)  ready for the onslaught of the Monday to Wednesday routine, now I have not scientifically examined this idea but I'm convinced there is some truth in my theory! So a change is brewing for my weekends going forward!  

I could also talk about my attitude towards food but that is another blog entry. 

8 days in September: my fitness challenge

Day1 So today was the day, but somehow the  weather took us by surprise and we ended up indoors the plank, leg ups stepping up on the stairs the latter being a bit of a challenge. 

Day 2  Eat Your Carrots!

Today we went out to the park, and it was tense at the beginning, petty things irritating us - raised voices - all  before we left the house!!

What about the walk to the park? hurry up he says, you are taking too long, why are you frowning?!

Anyway we stretched!

we jogged - it's time to declare - I don't care what the experts say in fact I don't even care what my husband says - I hate running, it is the most vile exercise ever!. Any- way it turns out that I drag, so I can run a bit, but i drag because my body leans backwards like Michael Johnson, and well I'm no athlete. So that was the diagnosis. Also apparently my fear of falling is irrational, but if I can feel that I am going to fall how can this be irrational? !

Its amazing what you'll notice too when you are looking down on a stretch of ugly grass, I am sure that I caught sight of some tiny insects furrowing around emitting some sort of light! 

The conversation was me " I don't like leg ups"  The colonel " nobody likes them, they're good for you" well knock me, sent me reeling back to my childhood when grown ups told you to eat your carrots they're good for you, you will see in the dark. I mean really??

Day 3 Weds - I had a dream!

Well officially this is a rest day, - so no suicide rungs , no press ups oh oopsy have not been doing any of those, but anyway you get my drift, ok dare i say this, I had a dream last night weird and random, that Dennis removed the shower from our bath- room, and when I challenged him about it, he was rather confused and said " but what now, its coming back", its just a temporary move, temporary for what I wondered, the rest of the dream was rather hazy. !

Well in my wisdom (now there's a joke) I've decided that this was some crazy metaphor for the fact today is a rest day. !

Now , I don't know what the outcome of these two weeks will be, but the one thing I have confirmed is that fit people even those trying to help you do not get what is like to not be fit, or unable to exercise properly, there is a complete lack of empathy. I think inherently they think all unfit people may be lazy! So that is why when you know you are trying very hard, they will say you are not trying hard enough.

Day 4!

OK, today Lieutenant wimped out on me, let's go I said at 9:36am fully dressed bar my trainers.- ooh I'm knackered he moaned- imagine that, So at 2:45pm we rocked up at Wardown park.!

what we did:

- ran up the stairs several times!

- leg ups!- this was a hard shift, in the end, he stood behind me and I held onto his legs. Made it much more bearable, but still bloody hard. 

- running up stairs several times, 

-jogging,

-the plank!

Mr Akiti refused to let me use the mate for he plank or leg ups evil, evil I say.!

quote of the day " this is not tae kwan do"! This in reference to how I kicked. 

what I learnt!

- the lack of empathy !

- the evil streak!

- I over think things!

- but I did get a well done - you've improved !

Day 5: I'm beginning to realise my fears are unfounded, and generally hold me back! I'm unbalanced ( explains so much) !

My fear all centres around one thing pain! !

So today I was asked to do frog leaps starting from the squat position now this re- sulted from my inability to sit into a squat without leaning forward! So when I could not do that he asked for the frog jump! Now this is the thing, I got down into the squat position easily but to leap up was a different matter, why because I was cared I'd not get down again without feeling pain! Anyhow we went through it several times, many of them with Dennis telling me to stop thinking and just do it, I was beginning to think he was being sponsored by NIKE I mean the irony of it!

Day 6! No creature comforts!!

So today seemed to be about the plank! ( I sill hate running! ) I got extra for pulling a face and sighing! Right lance corporal is my husband! !

He also had a go at me because thinking we were going to do leg ups I was sad that we did not bring the mat! You don't need the mat he bellowed you don't need those creature comforts!  I have no comeback

Day 7!

This was officially a rest day, oh boy I needed it, however I did go to Zumba an out of the ordinary class for me as ordinarily I would have been at Tkd for me and I went in MK with my friends, had the most amazing time! This fairness thing is taking so much longer than I'd like , although I have seen massive benefits already! Having my friends at TKD did make me a bit on the hyperactive side!

Day 8!

I have to say it, today was amazing so I went out with lieutenant colonel akiti and yes I got punished again... more plank,I  did 4x 30 seconds 1 x 40 seconds, and more running. and leg ups, the surprising thing though was that I was able to do these things, my running does not seem to me to have improved,  I try very hard, but the lieutenant colonel may not see that, if he does he does not show it. !

I'll Try Not to Twist it!

So, not to get it twisted: but some people are just rude!

Well ladies, is it my imagination or do we not have an unwritten rule that says we don't tell other ladies that they have put on weight?! I mean particularly if they are not part of your inner caucus? Yes? Well that is what happened to me today! So this is the context, I'd gone over to the building of my customer for a meeting, it just so happens that the customer also used to be my employer so j know a good few people there! This is how I came to be talking to this lady. The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: hi Diane 

Diane: hello nike how are you? I hear that you went to Nigeria 

Me:uh -no I was home though, for two weeks! 

The chit chat went on inanely like that for a couple of minutes and in between I had mentioned that I was going for the tube, as it was quicker and I did not have the time for the luxury of walking. I'd also been to talk to another colleague. 

Diane: oh look, being over there (as in having moved to Lockheed Martin) suits you,

me: oh thank you.

Diane: well I mean you have put on weight and you should be walking back to your office!  i was actually quite dumbfounded at this stage because the conversation was so random, its not as if sh is a lady I would seek out, and to be honest my inner bitch wanted to say "well excuse me you are no   Naomi Campbell but hey ho, had to let that one go and,  if It  had stopped there then maybe i would not have been so irritated. Diane asked me if they had found the missing Chibok girls and when I said know her response was well the parents must be complicit as if it were her daughter sh would be out there looking for her. I tried to explain the circumstances under which these girls were taken, but in that moment i felt that I was talking to an ignorant lady and that I would be wasting my breath! I did say to her that its very easy for her to say that sat in her Cosy office in the western world of freedom, but when you are living under the veil of Boko Haram or ISIS it is  not quite as straightforward as that! I think what I found offensive about this whole conversation is the randomness of it!

When I mentioned it to a couple of friends, they to were perplexed slightly and we could only conclude ignorance or that she clearly wanted to get a rise out of me! 

Today was hard

So I just thought I would mention that food wise I am still struggling. I feel as if my appetite has increased 10 fold, and quite frankly I seem as if i have a continual desire to eat.  Today is a good example.  So today I woke up at 5:30 am and I was ravenous. I had a cup of tea and a bread roll. I don't  know why I did that,  needless to say,  it did not help and before you could say jack robinson, i was hungry again. by 6 something I was well into a Facebook messenger conversation, about all sorts with my friend and was sat in the kitchen. So my point is, I was supposed to be good today, as I was meeting another friend for coffee/ late lunch, but no not I,  before I went up to my room at about 10 minutes or so past 8 I'd had my healthy extra and 10 sins.  Now we all know that SW is the best eating plan, when you stick to it, you can do amazing things, but for me,  I always cook the food, I mean i had a marathon session this week, all manner of food, and in the end its these strange times that I seem to let myself down. With hindsight what i needed to do by the second cup of tea was to make a cooked breakfast, this i what I know works for me. Anything else sends me off to the snack box within 1 hour.  Now I have been working very hard on my body magic, I have a separate blog entry planned for that as I really upped the anti these two weeks of my leave, and i have photographic evidence of my changing shape and size,  its just not translating on to the scales.  To add insult to injury I had to go to town to buy a present and I won't even mention the famous bakers that i went into and bought something that is off the  scales in sins because once again I was hungry!   all of this was brought about by lack of planning, I mean I did not even plan to wake up at 5:30 I'm on leave remember? However I did and I was ill prepared for my hungry onslaught simply because I had not proper food that i know sustains me to hand. I was not prepared for lunch, and in the end it was as if I am not even following any eating plan.

Exercise and attending class has been my saving grace.  So the correct handling of today, would have been to cook myself a good breakfast at the point of having my second cup of tea around 8something in the morning, Not to eat the roll. Then when I was going to town I could have taken my two hi fi light bars as my healthy extra and a banana. ( mistake no 100 - no bananas or other take away fruit available.)

Then when meeting my friend for lunch not only would i have been on time, I would have made sensible choices, more than what I did. So my real question is why could I not take these actions in the moment?

Happy Birthday Mum - Telephone Conversation!

So today would have been my mum's 72nd birthday. As  it's likely I would be here and she in Nigeria I would have been calling her to wish her a happy birthday! The general pattern is that I'd try in the morning, but alas I probably won't get through, bloody phones I'd lament, then try again later! 

" good afternoon Mummy, how are you?" 

"Fine, omo mi attata, what about you?"

" I called to wish you happy birthday, long life and prosperity"

Mummy always took on the prayer because she was better at it  than I, and I still feel the warmth of her voice!  So in the end it's I who really got the birthday gift!! 

" How is your husband?" Sometimes she would say Daniel instead of Dennis, ha ha - I think I get that from mummy, I'm always transposing names! 

"Is he being a good boy?"  Imagine that, too funny! 

"So what you doing?" 

" The Afars have been, and we did prayers" 

"Did you pray for me?" 

" Of course, for all of you" referring to Toks, Ronke and Yetunde and the grand kids etc

Did you have jollof rice?" Lol there was always all manner of food especially when the Afars are around' people would come and make merry and bring gifts! 

“who came?” 

“ Aunty Joko, Aunty Kemi” 

“ eh eh, but what about Aunty Tinu did she come?” 

“No, she has travelled” 

 In years past, this list would have included Aunty Sola  Aunty Bisi my mum’s younger friends.  The winds of time eh? Amazing.

Of course my brother and sister would have been there at some point with the grand children. 

Inevitably the conversation would turn to when I was coming home! In later years , Mummy always made me laugh because she had started saying that she's not coming to London, there's nothing there and if we want to see her we should come back home or make it worth her while! Lol! Not come hmm ok she did go to South Africa on holiday with my Aunty Kemi, but did she come over here? Oh yes! 

Eventually she would also ask after my friend Ozu and it would be " how is your friend Osu?" (and that is how she pronounced it!)  And I would tell her she is fine, then she'd ask about the weather and would laugh at me if i said i was cold. She would always say you should be used to it by now. I would always reply that I would never get used to it, besides the owners of the land are not used to weather. She tell me about the wedding or birthday party that she had been to, or was going to. If  it were a family wedding, then this would generally involve her calling a caterer, to make some food to assist, she assisted a lot did my mum sometimes at expense to herself.  She was so much more generous than I am, I can only try to emulate her on some level. That would not be a bad thing to do would it?

So I would tell her that I had baked her a cake, a chocolate one, although I don’t think she particularly liked chocolate cake, either way that may be a mute point seeing as she most likely would be in Nigeria and I am here, having said that, mummy has been known to eat things that she does not like, or eat any more, to please someone, for example, the time when my husband, much to the astonishment of the whole household, decided he was making breakfast (scrambled eggs) for us, I mean the helpers were beside themselves, and when i said to Mummy but you don't eat eggs, her response was “ ah as your husband is making them, I will eat them, and so she did” She was like that my mum!  So we would laugh and i would say that even though we were not together i was celebrating her birthday. 

Sometimes we'd talk about politics, she liked President Obama although she never got to see him as president, she was in a coma having suffered a stroke, and  as I watched the inauguration on the tiny TV in the hospital waiting room I remember thinking that hmm, I hope nothing happens to you, mummy was quite convinced hat something would! She'd be happy to know there has been no attempt on his life! 

So Im wondering if mummy would have had Skype by now, then we would Skype and she could say hmm, what are you wearing? I hope your extras are not showing, let me see?  She would be proud to show me herself as she would know that she looked good. 

Probably we'd sign off with her telling me to go to church, although on this occasion seeing as her birthday falls on a Sunday we'd have had that conversation at the top! 

As always mummy would end our conversation praying for me, and that by God's grace we'll speak again soon! 

You know when someone you love departs this earth, you miss them, yes? You miss the good times you shared, and perhaps even the bad times you miss the things they have done for you  but in an odd sense you miss even the bit that you are yet to have? I quite often think of things that oh, if mummy were here… or I would be in a situation and I would think mummy would have been mortified at that, just imagine.  

One of the last proper conversations that I had with mummy, was on the phone actually, and one thing we spoke about was, me giving up my job in the MOJ and come to live in Nigeria. She said to me well your husband is here, ( he was in Nigeria at the time) and what would I do mum? oh you can get a contract. ha Just like that, it was a conversation, which in the end turned out to be just that,  because the Lord came a knocking  and we are now where we are, but i don't know if that was an option I would have explored had she still been here, I will never know.  It does often cross my mind though. 

I am grateful  to have had the mother I had, I am happy when people say I look her. Rest in Peace Mummy, I hope when you look down on us, you are happy with what you see, I hope that you can feel the love we have for you and know how much we miss you. 

The thing is the only person apart from God that will be the biggest champion of your cause is your mother, and when thats gone you can feel a bit lost. 

Sometimes you have to dig your heels in!

So, I  was having this conversation with a friend of mine, bemoaning how much I was struggling to keep abreast of my weight loss plan blahdy blah and then she just asked me outright if i have ever considered that this was how I was meant to be?  My response was that yes, but I instantly dismiss it as a negative thought! So fast forward to today then, after having recorded one of my better weight losses my own darling husband ( well not so darling in this moment) tells me he can't see the benefit of the exercise that I do, that its just social. Well I was indignant, mad hurt and bemused all at once . After all,  I feel fitter than ever before, I can do things I couldn't before,. Before I started going to Zumba  I was unable to consistently maintain a high level of cardio activity  for very long, I could not even bend down properly without assistance. Now don't get it twisted ( note to me too) he was just calling it as he sees it but bearing in mind I was in the middle of saying how happy I was that I had lost 5 and 1/2 pounds its not a cool time to slap a girl down!

One of the other bonus of going to these classes is that i have been able to sustain them,  ie. i keep going,   so it plays to my nature, his nature is DIY not of the home fixing kind, rather though he is good at doing his own thing with regards to exercise by himself - i think he would like me to be more like him ( well that makes me laugh ) and he is a bit of a show off.  I believe you have to know and understand certain things about yourself, I have tried in the past, to do this, with and without aids, Lateral thigh trainer, exercise DVDs,  the big ball thing to name but a few, but i never manage to sustain them for any substantial amount of time, definitely not enough to make any difference, besides anyone who knows me knows how easily distracted I am!

He thinks I should do more targeted exercise, which he could have a point, but putting me down when i am on a high is not going to convince me,  getting fitter has convinced me to walk more. My dislike of walking is legendary, but hey i have managed to over come it.  I have accepted that i am on the scenic route, so peeps, it you can not say it constructively you may as well not bother to say it at all!  For now, slimming world is ensuring a healthy and varied diet, and the exercise means my weight is generally stable if not going exactly in the direction I would want and I am not saying I am not open to correction or to learn new ways.

A week in the life of the struggling Slimming World member!

Tuesday 29th July 2014- hopeful after last nights Slimming world class

A day that started full of optimism and vigour. Was not as prepared for breakfast as i wanted to be, so i had a ham, boiled egg and cucumber sarni. i bought this at a little cafe at Victoria station on my way to work with a coffee. The coffee was too milky but i drank it anyway. Was relatively good until lunch time, lunch was mushroom and spinach lasagne. It was challenging  as random snacks kept appearing  and mostly i abstained, but at about 3pm - 3:30pm i gave in . Dont ask me how many syns in the shortcake caramel square could not possibly tell you. Ha ha laugh at mysel, i remembered that i had melon in my bag, there was a wapping 400g but by the time i shared with my colleagues i probably had about 300g and i ate  the lot.  By the time i got home, i was ravenous and had a banana the 3rd of the day,  went to tae kwon do, had my customary boiled sweet came home and had a bag of quavers. i made Aromatic Turkey meatballs and had that for dinner. very nice.  This does not read like a very good SW day, but compared to what i had been up to in the days before this was a relatively good day and boosted by a lovely text message exchange with the wonderful Cathy  so i was quite happy as i thought about what to have the next day. 

Weds 30th July 2014- Going Native!

Breakfast - rice with salmon fish stew and curly kale

So this was day 3/5 of my positives challenge on fb. this is what i had

1. Mety my hbuy and nephew briefly after work 
2. Wednesday - only 1 thing on my mind - yep Zumba
3. Tae klwon do was an absolute blast. 

So this morning started well enough considering i was so ravenous when i woke up. i had my healthy extra B before i left home in the morning ( 2 hi fi light bars) with a cup of tea. I have to say i went native for my real breakfast, which meant when i got to work i had a small bowl of rice and fish with curly Kale stew. They frown on this at work  but i had to decide not to take it on board, because i am not willing to tolerate the double standards, it takes 90-120 seconds to heat, and probably 2 minutes to scoff it down, much less than the time it takes to walk out and buy a coffee, that happens , or time to go and have  cigarette that happens a lot. so are you getting my drift here! I am determined that i will continue along the lines  i started yesterday and improve. 

3:05pm so far so good, only 1 syn so far and that was in my lunch, I am so happy i staved off the hunger, it really must be the breakfast, so good for them. I shall cook beans tonight. 

Thursday 31st July 2014- identity crisis

Identity Criss-fritatta or Omelette

I did not cook the beans, zumba was so energetic i did not have the energy. 

I did my 3 positives ( day 4/4) the  short form

1. stuck to my SW plan and beat the 3p desire for sugar
2. desptie my moan a lot attitude, poor commute, dont like this or that, i’m privileged and I know it. Thanks be to God
3. Met my friends on the train making for a lovely journey

So i made a frittata last night, or an omelette with an identity crisis as I called this one. had this for breakfast, and as i was meeting my brother for lunch did not take any other food. I have had bit of a negative, so i have faltered on the walking. not good i must improve, then i had a cadbury mil tray chocolate. why just why  - someone brought them in, in celebration of EID . Oh and lest I forget, to appease my friend who i had upset when i said i did not want any of her home made Mauritian tea cakes, i ended up having one. But then I came back from lunch  where i had done my best to make good choices - the same said person offered me cake - she bought it at M&S and i have to be honest i was actually quite peeved because we are both on a loser’s challenge, so i feel she should have known better, not only that  its really annoying because they make out as if you are so offensive when you say no thank you despite the fact that they know you are following a particular regime.  The next challenge is to survive a colleagues leaving do. 

Friday 1st August 2014: First I ran from you , now I run to you..

Bread- my saviour on this occasion

Yes so go the words from the Soft Cell song, and im not talking about anything they were, but Im talking about bread! So I survived the leaving do in horrible but rather fortuitous way. I had eaten  something at lunch yesterday and it did not agree with me. i spent a lot of the afternoon in and out of the bathroom. Invariably i could not eat or drink anything  in the pub and left around 9:10 pm and by the time i got home although I was hungry i could not face the smell of food let a lone eat any, so i ate 3/4 slices of dry  white bread, hoping that it may constipate me or at least not compound matters. 

so today really was a bit of a write off, and tomorrow will be challenging. had boiled egg toasted sandwich for breakfast, with butter and a coffee. lunch was not much better. I fancied egg and chips but there is not a decent greasy spoon near my office so was in the pub and had bangers and mash.

needless to say… not the best of choices and I was out in the evening, a catch up after Eid with some girl friends, so the food was not that bad, but it involved humous, and flat bread. I was really just grateful that i could eat it without feeling funny.  see how quickly I feel sorry for myself!

Selfie- on the day to the memorial services

Saturday 2nd August

Not the most unusual saturday ive ever had, but when you are having to try doubly hard, to stay on track then this does not help. up and about relatively early on 2 hi fi light bars, a banana and a mini tortilla wrap. Off to a 10 year memorial service for my besto’s mum,  so there was no joyous SW day for me, except if I was going to eat only fruit! When you are on plan 1 day in  a week like this is not too bad, but when you are struggling it can be devastating. 

Sunday 3rd August 

Today was supposed to be redemption day! So i went to church  had my normal cup of coffee and i also had 1/2 a nice biscuit ( ok, dont get it twisted, i know what you think..but actually the biscuits were already broken, I did not break it ). I went shopping came home ravenous and had a cooking marathon. i tried to stave off the hunger with a packet of quavers. Had a brunch of bacon sarnies with cherry tomatoes. The day continued much along the same vain as i was cooking there was nothing much to munch on. 

so as i roll into to monday… i treat my self to a hot chocolate and believe it ive been so bad recently I am now on first name terms with the lady who seres there.  so all lin all it has not been the best of weeks, and would you believe work was so stressful today, i had a conference call at 4pm that went on until 5:10 pm meaning that i was not going to make it Slimming world. But do you now the worst thing? when it was clear that I wasn't going to make it to Slimming world my desire for chocolate came out in full force.. but thanks be to God  i managed to stave it foo. 

So, Is this it?

Grapes vs Sweets?

What a depressing question right? Well I’m not talking about the whole of my life but an area of it that is fast getting out of control and threatening to become the definition of me! Oh yes you have probably guessed that I am talking about my weight or indeed my desire to lose some of it. 

What has prompted this blog entry is that today I was walking past my colleague friend who just happened to be eating grapes, and it made me recall how a couple of weeks ago the Slimming world consultant had passed some frozen grapes round during class. apparently these are likened to boiled sweets, when i mentioned this to my colleague she said that they used to get them in the canteen while she was at school, - she schooled in Australia. Apparently this was done because of the heat.  Now that i can relate to, but trying to substitute them for sweets, really? This got to me, its that that made me think .so is this  its?  So sweets will forever be  a no no or what? I mean i could syn them, as in they will always be at the expense of something else,  ( yes I know gluttony is one of the deadly sins) but it was and still is quite depressing, I have to be honest I could not see the positives in that moment , I mean this should be seen as a way round sweets, surely that is a positive yes?  I am pretty confident that this thought pattern and negative feeling was a major contributing factor towards my bad behaviour this week and I got what I deserved. 

I would say that its one thing to want to eat frozen grapes, but its another when they are a substitute for something else. Now dont get me wrong,  I am not against making substitutions for the greater good of my desire to lose weight, after all no pain no gain right?  I mean i would defy anyone and I mean anyone including Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsey and the likes, not to like SW chips! In fact not only to like them but to prefer them to the full fat version! And SW curries are amazing.

I have long accepted that  choosing to cook and eat the slimming world way has effectively been a lifestyle change, but the realisation that barring a wonder pill i am going to have to be so focused  and considered in my choices does at times get me just a little frustrated to say the least. So if I appear to t be on the scenic route to my target, please judge not!

So, why not weight loss

So, I went to SW yesterday and I had put on 2 lbs which to the honest was expected, after the way I have been behaving towards food, recently. i also again have to be honest about the fact that i am buckling under the perceived strain. i find it difficult to focus, difficult not to just pick up a birthday donut and eat, difficult not to have a ( what i consider to be a) decent size bowl of cereal when i fancy it, i could go on and on, yes I have even taken to having a hot chocolate in the morning on the way to work.. can you see where Im going  this?  In my last blog post, i stated that it was time for action and i had taken a break from the war against indiscipline series! look what happened. 

At SW, there is a tool that they offer when you are struggling in this manner, I mean it has to be borne in mind that i cook amazing slimming world food, so there is not problem there, its what i do in-between meals that is my biggest downfall. Basically the consultant asks you to write down a for and against ( i.e. the pros and cons). You don’t have to share it with the class, but I’m sharing here, and the list was surprising and disappointing

The case for

1. Easy plan
2. it works, so you would lose weight
3. health benefits
4. Access to a wider range of clothes when you have lost weight
5. It will improve my self esteem
6. I enjoy the class and image therapy
7. i love my SW consultant
8. I like the ethic of the company 

The case against

1. It can be restrictive
2. Can make you feel like a party pooper
3. It makes me think ( sometimes over think) what i am going to eat i want to be free.
4. Indiscipline takes over
5. Its hard to sustain
6. The cereal portions are too small
7. The bread portions are too small
8. The cheese portion is too small

So maybe my brain is not in gear, am not sure, because when I sat down to write this it never occurred to me that I would find as many reasons against as for. That was the surprising bit, but it was also the disappointing bit.  I mean how could i find so many things against something that is so  good? I don't get it. 

At class this week, our consultant talked about the little voice in your head that tells you you can do something.  I felt my voice told me that actually it did not matter.  I was talking about this at lunchtime with my friends and they said that maybe i have two voices, as the one that says its alright is really the negative one, as it allows you to sabotage your plans, where as the one that tells you you can’t do it in actuality would spur you on as you would want to prove it wrong. This for me is very evident in my attitude to Tae kwan do, this is an activity i love a lot, and i have been to grade to attain a black belt 3 times and on 3 occasions i have been told no, you are not good enough. I still plan to go again. So why the spirit there and not in my quest to lose weight. I have upped the anti on my fitness, thats improved,10 fold just by going to zumba and walking more. I dont know that answer,  maybe because food is something that comforts, and rewards, in a way that belt, a certificate, a pay rise can’t. I don't know that answer, I don't know yet how or  what i am going to change in order to turn things around The one thing I know for sure is that i will still continue to attend SW, regardless of this list, as i am certain that things would be mighty worse if i did not, I hope that I can re-connect with my will power. 

My personal war against indiscipline, the hiatus: it's time for action!

Ok  I think it's time to take a break from the WAI series, don't get me wrong, I'm still struggling, still facing difficult challenges, I've spent a long time lamenting about my struggles, but in actuality it would appear that that is all I have done! 

 I still attend SW, I am still a great lover of it and I continually try out new recipes and foods and I am right up there on the platinum level for body magic ( that's exercise for my non SW friends), so why isn't this all translating into positive results on the scales? Ok so I've gone down a skirt size that could be a big plus except I'm skeptical about shop sizes!  So if you have read my previous blogs you will know what my weaknesses and excuses are, so there is the answer! 

At work I have been participating in a loser's challenge and the facilitator  included this lovely graphic in one if her emails which I just have to share, - probably dosed with lots of opinion you know me! 

10 tips for losing weight

So 

1. Go for a walk, quite clear really

2. Stop eating out as much ok, I take umbrance  with this one, so what does life stop just because you need to lose weight? Rather than caution you to go where you can make good choices,a feral there is more to eating out than Chinese Indian or Kentucky!  

3. Eat breakfast! Yep I can vouch wholeheartedly for this one as I definitely don't pick as much when I eat breakfast, so even better if it's a healthy SW one!

4.Eat smaller portions? - really I'd say join SW they know a thing or two about portion sizes! 

5. Do yoga!  I could not possibly comment

6. Spend more time outdoors, very good because the. You'll be more active, burn more calories and to be honest generally feel much better! 

7. Build muscle! Hmm I need help but I can see the rationale for that! 

8. Measure yourself regularly! A good way to keep track better than weighing yourself it's not as psychologically damaging and you are likely to have noticed some results in this area already especially if you have been exercising!

9. Stop drinking Soda! Hmm on SW diet soda is free as in you can drink as much as you like but I have heard members say they've lit more weight when they've stopped drinking it! Not really sure about the rationale behind it. 

10. Eat fruit! Well enough said, yes? I mean when reaching for the cadbury's reach for an apple instead? Right? 

These tips are from freefitnesstips.co.uk

My Personal War Against Indiscipline: Lets be honest, dealing ( or blaming) with stress

On my way to Zumba

So in my last blog post I talked about mother nature, which as we know can be very stressful, so if you have a tendency to snack, eat for comfort as  a way of dealing with stress, you need to be prepared that this can have an impact on your weight loss plans.

So I have been under a lot ao stress in recent times, it started in December 2013 when my 23 year tenure as a civil servant came to an end under a TUPE agreement, I was moved ( along with several of my colleagues) to a private company. Well talk about shell shock, couple that with the fact that my husband ( my best friend, my confidante) had and in fact continues to work away, knock me for  six it was a lot to contend with and then trying to stay on a strict albeit a generous routine then becomes another stress and I quite often found myself feeling sorry for myself. The issue is these stresses are really not reason enough to just not do what you are supposed to do, signed up for, whether, its a weight loss plan, work whatever,  its just that they can weigh you down ( no pun intended!), make feel as if everything is an event, for me personally i can related it to using a wet towel to keep helium balloons down ( this was a recent ploy of mine to transport such balloons in my car). We all know what a wet towel is a euphemism for!

So when bouts of “ oh i feel sorry for myself, I’m going to have these chocolate biscuits, desserts or just good old chocolate”  becoming  part of your daily mantra, creeping up on your good work, sabotaging your efforts.

I have to be honest though, as i popped down to SW yesterday  I cant complain or be surprised that i stayed the same. Please don't get me wrong , my SW cocking has been amazing ( ok we know that self praise is no praise), its everything else the all of a sudden penchant for rich tea with my mid morning cup of tea, not preparing  breakfast, running on empty ( dangerous from all sides that one!) the wine,  funnily enough not much chocolate but i did have more than my fair share of quavers and other types of crisps and the granddaddy of all things morish bread!! And yes lest i forget not weighing my cereal. All in all I’m out of control!  Can i really blame it all on stress? I am pretty certain there are other tools available to deal with stress  so why lay what is just ordinary greed and indiscipline at the feet of stress? I need to take back control. My biggest saving grace has been adding much more exercise to my repertoire, I  walk a lot more, i have added an extra zumba class. These are paying major  dividends, but imagine who much more i could get if I were only to stick to plan. 

So on a serious note now it has emerged in the news that American Doctors/ scientists have confirmed a direct link between stress and one’s tendency to have a stroke and / or heart attach.  Apparently stress causes a build up of white blood cells build up in our vessels causing blood clots.  Do you see where we are going with this?  I can imagine  and to be honest I have heard it, seen it and indeed felt it. that the cycle of doing well and messing up can be stressful in itself.  The fact of the matter is, external forces of stress cannot be controlled, how we deal with them though can be, and we really must get a grip on how to do this, i’m not qualified to say what works for anyone else, but anything less than trying to deal with stress without resorting to comfort eating si sabotaging more then your weight loss plans and how you look, would you not agree?

My Personal war against indiscipline: when Mother Nature intervenes!

So it struck me the other day that really I do seem to feel permanently hungry when I am on my star week as we lovingly refer to it at SW ( personally to me its the visitor from hell!) I always felt that i noticed this but that i was really making excuses in my head as a cause to eat junk or simply just to eat more!  

Everyone knows about the bloating, personally i have been known to put on up to 1/2 a stone because of it! But did you know that its medically proven, oh yes, its accepted that we do actually burn more calories on and around the time of our period hence the hunger. Apparently the cravings we get are hormonal ( imagine that!)  Anyway don't get excited its only between 100 and 300 calories. We know how easy it is to blow 300 calories without even thinking about it!

So I spoke to my friend who is a doctor, he confirmed that this is true, but you know what he also said was that whilst he has not researched if yet but he believes that women are more susceptible to alcohol when they are on their period, as in it takes half the amount of alcohol to get drunk. So I don't know if any of you have experienced that, but it kind of makes sense, as i know for me when i am really tired any amount of alcohol will make me drunk tired, compared to when I'm full of energy where it just gives me more energy!  So as Im usually dirt tired whenever the dreaded visitor is here, it stands to reason that i would be more susceptible to alcohol at this time!

it would be very easy to go off piste when one has one's period, after all it cant be helped if you conjure up these hunger pangs and cravings every month. They do tend to take you by surprise!

what we need is a strategy, one that deals with this obstacle I can imagine that it will be quite emotional too and then add to it the normal joys of life and phew its enough to knock you off your perch! 

One of my long term strategies is always to have cooked food in the freezer, so when you come in from your day's travaille  you don't have to start worrying about cooking. One thing that can be hard is to recognise the symptoms, because as lots of women have testified, its only when they come on that they say to themselves ah, thats why I wanted this and wanted that or felt particularly cranky! So I feel there is a need to look at it a bit more holistically and consider dealing with the issue of craving in the minute. If you want something you ordinarily would be happy doing without, then what can you substitute it with, what would you ordinarily be eating at that moment?   I think those questions can only be answered by individuals, as what works for one does not necessarily work for the other. If you are going to have that bar of chocolate or bag of crisps or whatever it is that has taken your fancy I try to stick it within the plan although as I've said that can be hard. 

Slimming world did some research into what they refer to as your tipping point, (http://www.slimmingworld.com/tippingpoint/#/ ) what this means is how much alcohol you can have before it impacts on your ability to stay on track, on other words, how much alcohol do you consume before you say oh sod it and go off and just eat and drink what you like!  I would say they may well like to do one regarding our food intake because I for one certainly give in quite easily after I have eaten stuff I generally should not be eating and have not bothered to account for the syns. 

Lets wax lyrical!

My Zumba peeps!

You walked into my life and now you’ve taken over

Zumba's  beautiful 

Oh yes its beautiful

I have run around the park

I have done the treadmill thing

But now we’re beautiful, 

Zumba made us beautiful

I don’t need the gym anymore

Because zumba gives me more

Cant you see, it’s the chemistry

I’m sure you’ll see together we are beautiful 

We are so beautiful…

So this is my little ode to my zumba peeps or according to the definition on yahoo, waxing lyrical (it means to speak enthusiastically about something with carefully chosen words) well a poet im certainly not, but yes i do go on and on about zumba! I started zumba back in November I think now after it was things fall apart at street dance! I have to be honest, I have not looked back, don’t misunderstand me, I miss the guys I hung out with at street dance we clicked and  all got along fabulously well and to be honest I was gutted when It all went wrong, because it was youthful bunch of people and well they  appealed to the inner young me. Ha ha yeah funny I know!  So it was with in trepidation that I set out to ‘act my age’ after a lovely lady on another forum I like to wax lyrical about told me about this zumba class, so there I turned up all on my lonesome on a cold November night and that was it, one bite at this cherry and I was hooked. I did not see the lady who invited me as (I did not know her personally) until the following week, and I have to say this is was the most welcoming and fun  exercise class, oh excuse me, I say  forgive me  the party I’d been to outside of a party! I remember I used to watch zumba infomercials before it took off in the UK, and I thought It was a bit cheesy and would take a certain type of character to carry it off her. It was ages before I found one to try, which was ok on a Monday night but in the end the attraction just was not there and luckily I found street dance.  Well enter stage right this group and something that appeals to my vivacious nature was discovered. Any one who knows me should be able to tell you that when i like something and get into it, that it i start to live breathe and eat that thing, life becomes one long anticipation of the next instalment!  It really does tick all the right boxes, one of my friends says i'm certifiable and need help after I posted this picture on Facebook! 

Just to let you know I am a well rounded person really and i also wax lyrical about slimming world, tae Kwan do, football - Liverpool FC to be precise, books and films I've read or seen, so what gets you going, do you wax lyrical about anything in particular?