Sometimes you have to dig your heels in!

So, I  was having this conversation with a friend of mine, bemoaning how much I was struggling to keep abreast of my weight loss plan blahdy blah and then she just asked me outright if i have ever considered that this was how I was meant to be?  My response was that yes, but I instantly dismiss it as a negative thought! So fast forward to today then, after having recorded one of my better weight losses my own darling husband ( well not so darling in this moment) tells me he can't see the benefit of the exercise that I do, that its just social. Well I was indignant, mad hurt and bemused all at once . After all,  I feel fitter than ever before, I can do things I couldn't before,. Before I started going to Zumba  I was unable to consistently maintain a high level of cardio activity  for very long, I could not even bend down properly without assistance. Now don't get it twisted ( note to me too) he was just calling it as he sees it but bearing in mind I was in the middle of saying how happy I was that I had lost 5 and 1/2 pounds its not a cool time to slap a girl down!

One of the other bonus of going to these classes is that i have been able to sustain them,  ie. i keep going,   so it plays to my nature, his nature is DIY not of the home fixing kind, rather though he is good at doing his own thing with regards to exercise by himself - i think he would like me to be more like him ( well that makes me laugh ) and he is a bit of a show off.  I believe you have to know and understand certain things about yourself, I have tried in the past, to do this, with and without aids, Lateral thigh trainer, exercise DVDs,  the big ball thing to name but a few, but i never manage to sustain them for any substantial amount of time, definitely not enough to make any difference, besides anyone who knows me knows how easily distracted I am!

He thinks I should do more targeted exercise, which he could have a point, but putting me down when i am on a high is not going to convince me,  getting fitter has convinced me to walk more. My dislike of walking is legendary, but hey i have managed to over come it.  I have accepted that i am on the scenic route, so peeps, it you can not say it constructively you may as well not bother to say it at all!  For now, slimming world is ensuring a healthy and varied diet, and the exercise means my weight is generally stable if not going exactly in the direction I would want and I am not saying I am not open to correction or to learn new ways.

A week in the life of the struggling Slimming World member!

Tuesday 29th July 2014- hopeful after last nights Slimming world class

A day that started full of optimism and vigour. Was not as prepared for breakfast as i wanted to be, so i had a ham, boiled egg and cucumber sarni. i bought this at a little cafe at Victoria station on my way to work with a coffee. The coffee was too milky but i drank it anyway. Was relatively good until lunch time, lunch was mushroom and spinach lasagne. It was challenging  as random snacks kept appearing  and mostly i abstained, but at about 3pm - 3:30pm i gave in . Dont ask me how many syns in the shortcake caramel square could not possibly tell you. Ha ha laugh at mysel, i remembered that i had melon in my bag, there was a wapping 400g but by the time i shared with my colleagues i probably had about 300g and i ate  the lot.  By the time i got home, i was ravenous and had a banana the 3rd of the day,  went to tae kwon do, had my customary boiled sweet came home and had a bag of quavers. i made Aromatic Turkey meatballs and had that for dinner. very nice.  This does not read like a very good SW day, but compared to what i had been up to in the days before this was a relatively good day and boosted by a lovely text message exchange with the wonderful Cathy  so i was quite happy as i thought about what to have the next day. 

Weds 30th July 2014- Going Native!

Breakfast - rice with salmon fish stew and curly kale

So this was day 3/5 of my positives challenge on fb. this is what i had

1. Mety my hbuy and nephew briefly after work 
2. Wednesday - only 1 thing on my mind - yep Zumba
3. Tae klwon do was an absolute blast. 

So this morning started well enough considering i was so ravenous when i woke up. i had my healthy extra B before i left home in the morning ( 2 hi fi light bars) with a cup of tea. I have to say i went native for my real breakfast, which meant when i got to work i had a small bowl of rice and fish with curly Kale stew. They frown on this at work  but i had to decide not to take it on board, because i am not willing to tolerate the double standards, it takes 90-120 seconds to heat, and probably 2 minutes to scoff it down, much less than the time it takes to walk out and buy a coffee, that happens , or time to go and have  cigarette that happens a lot. so are you getting my drift here! I am determined that i will continue along the lines  i started yesterday and improve. 

3:05pm so far so good, only 1 syn so far and that was in my lunch, I am so happy i staved off the hunger, it really must be the breakfast, so good for them. I shall cook beans tonight. 

Thursday 31st July 2014- identity crisis

Identity Criss-fritatta or Omelette

I did not cook the beans, zumba was so energetic i did not have the energy. 

I did my 3 positives ( day 4/4) the  short form

1. stuck to my SW plan and beat the 3p desire for sugar
2. desptie my moan a lot attitude, poor commute, dont like this or that, i’m privileged and I know it. Thanks be to God
3. Met my friends on the train making for a lovely journey

So i made a frittata last night, or an omelette with an identity crisis as I called this one. had this for breakfast, and as i was meeting my brother for lunch did not take any other food. I have had bit of a negative, so i have faltered on the walking. not good i must improve, then i had a cadbury mil tray chocolate. why just why  - someone brought them in, in celebration of EID . Oh and lest I forget, to appease my friend who i had upset when i said i did not want any of her home made Mauritian tea cakes, i ended up having one. But then I came back from lunch  where i had done my best to make good choices - the same said person offered me cake - she bought it at M&S and i have to be honest i was actually quite peeved because we are both on a loser’s challenge, so i feel she should have known better, not only that  its really annoying because they make out as if you are so offensive when you say no thank you despite the fact that they know you are following a particular regime.  The next challenge is to survive a colleagues leaving do. 

Friday 1st August 2014: First I ran from you , now I run to you..

Bread- my saviour on this occasion

Yes so go the words from the Soft Cell song, and im not talking about anything they were, but Im talking about bread! So I survived the leaving do in horrible but rather fortuitous way. I had eaten  something at lunch yesterday and it did not agree with me. i spent a lot of the afternoon in and out of the bathroom. Invariably i could not eat or drink anything  in the pub and left around 9:10 pm and by the time i got home although I was hungry i could not face the smell of food let a lone eat any, so i ate 3/4 slices of dry  white bread, hoping that it may constipate me or at least not compound matters. 

so today really was a bit of a write off, and tomorrow will be challenging. had boiled egg toasted sandwich for breakfast, with butter and a coffee. lunch was not much better. I fancied egg and chips but there is not a decent greasy spoon near my office so was in the pub and had bangers and mash.

needless to say… not the best of choices and I was out in the evening, a catch up after Eid with some girl friends, so the food was not that bad, but it involved humous, and flat bread. I was really just grateful that i could eat it without feeling funny.  see how quickly I feel sorry for myself!

Selfie- on the day to the memorial services

Saturday 2nd August

Not the most unusual saturday ive ever had, but when you are having to try doubly hard, to stay on track then this does not help. up and about relatively early on 2 hi fi light bars, a banana and a mini tortilla wrap. Off to a 10 year memorial service for my besto’s mum,  so there was no joyous SW day for me, except if I was going to eat only fruit! When you are on plan 1 day in  a week like this is not too bad, but when you are struggling it can be devastating. 

Sunday 3rd August 

Today was supposed to be redemption day! So i went to church  had my normal cup of coffee and i also had 1/2 a nice biscuit ( ok, dont get it twisted, i know what you think..but actually the biscuits were already broken, I did not break it ). I went shopping came home ravenous and had a cooking marathon. i tried to stave off the hunger with a packet of quavers. Had a brunch of bacon sarnies with cherry tomatoes. The day continued much along the same vain as i was cooking there was nothing much to munch on. 

so as i roll into to monday… i treat my self to a hot chocolate and believe it ive been so bad recently I am now on first name terms with the lady who seres there.  so all lin all it has not been the best of weeks, and would you believe work was so stressful today, i had a conference call at 4pm that went on until 5:10 pm meaning that i was not going to make it Slimming world. But do you now the worst thing? when it was clear that I wasn't going to make it to Slimming world my desire for chocolate came out in full force.. but thanks be to God  i managed to stave it foo.