Whistlestop prejudice!

I

I can only conclude prejudice!  Today I went into the whistle stop at Victoria to buy my lottery syndicate tickets as I have been doing every Friday (@ least whilst I was at work) for the last 6-7 weeks! So this is how the conversation goes me "can I have 6 lucky dips for tonight please?" The man " do you have cash we dont take cards?" Me " but I paid with a card last week and the week before  we don't take cards it has to be cash he repeated! So I said to him again trying not to show my irritation but I paid with a card last week, then he said well we don't take credit cards! " at this point I told him that I don't have a credit card it's a debit card! 

Now I was with my friend,we wanted to do a lucky dip quick syndicate and she had given me the £2 a transaction we both concluded he witnessed, so after all the shenanigans of the different tickets I paid the £20 and left! But at this point I was mad, really irritated, because no 1 this particular man has served me  many times, but more importantly no 2 was the fact that he went straight for the negative, and, I feel made certain assumptions about me! After all at the very top of the conversation he had no way of knowing how I intended to pay, courtesy dictated that he should have let me present my means of payment and then let's have the discussion! And it's not just the action but also his tone of voice, it was rather condescending!

All that after a crappy day at at the office! Hmm

War against indiscipline: Temper tantrums

Right, I went to SW on Monday only to find that I had put on 2lbs, and I was mad, really mad, I think the biggest saving grace is that we had a visiting consultant, so I had to mind my Ps and Qs.  Now, don’t get me wrong I am in no way saying that the plan does not work, but rather that I felt I knew that I had done well, I knew that I had stuck to it and counted my syns, so I felt it was unjust and any injustice makes me wanna shout. So upon reflection, thinking and recalling and all that mind work I decided it was because I was out on Saturday and did not do my normal party trick of eating before going to the party! I did take my own drink, either way even though I can’t know for sure, am pretty certain that I did not notch up 100+ syns!  Anyway now it’s Wednesday and I’m still mad, I have gone on strike from SW, I am almost defiant. I know its irrational, and that I am throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater, and worse I am going to pay for it next week, but I just cant seem to help it. On Tuesday, I was out of control and participated in all sorts of birthday celebrations ( yes including those of the Cadbury persuasion) Stuff I would not ordinarily do. As for today, well I shouldn’t  mention really, so please don’t tell anyone but I have been a naughty naughty defiant girl. Now how do I stop this undisciplined attitude, its pure petulance and I am the one in the wrong.  I do love SW as a diet plan  , but sometimes it just keeps me hanging on.

Ok, so Liverpool thrashing Arsenal 5-1 actually got me thinking about my slimming world journey, it has been long and sometimes very tortuous trip and at times given me very little return for my efforts,  ( or so I feel) but the truth is I love Slimming world and I have adopted it as away of life.  At half time Liverpool were up 4-0 and the pundit said that come the second half Arsenal can only think and act as if its 0-0 for them to have any chance of a comeback. The other Pundit then put it that well Liverpool may well come out as if its 0-0.  And that is the point, you have to put your past behind you whether its success or as in the case of Arsenal failure and ineptness.  For me each week is a battle in my personal war against my indiscipline, its sometimes very easy for me to get bogged down with it all, sometimes I want to be social at work and have the birthday donut or cake, or have some team biscuits. Its frustrating, but I also know its just pure indiscipline so I am forever striving to work to side step these issues. Let’s face it sometimes only the donut will do, but other times its just greedy. Either way what ever my choice good or bad, I have to learn to leave it where it is.  No that does not mean that I can eat krispy creme donuts every day on this basis, as there would be consequences, this is about limiting damage and not undermining the ability to improve and make better choices going forward just because I had a bad day or made a couple of poor choices. 

In recent weeks I have taken to batch cooking, making several dishes and separating them ready for the week ahead! That’s the good bit, however, one is invariably preparing before you have seen the results of the current week, and that makes it really quite difficult for many different reasons. But you know what I just have to keep trying and not allowing myself to be derailed by life’s events. 

Until the next time. 

This War against indiscipline: the next battle!

Ok, so I weighed at SW on Monday and I stayed the same. Hmm I have to be honest i was actually really quite disappointed, I think that i hid it well, aided by the wonderful speed dating that we did in the class, and I was really interested in the lady that I was paired with, as we were polar opposites in many ways! 

Sometimes when the scales don't do as I wish I want to scream and shout, really I do.  Yesterday was a bit like that, but on reflection, I can only really blame myself in that, I just dont seem to be in control of myself and quite often find that I undo a lot of hard work that i do to keep to this plan.  So last week, i spent a good deal of hours cooking so that i would not have to do that during the week, had all my lunches to a pat, but does that stop me from eating stuff i really don't need to be eating.  I met my friend for lunch on Tuesday last week, and it was really difficult to make a good choice, in the end i went with the mega breakfast without the eggs, then in that evening spent the night at my brothers and there it was even harder work making a good choice! 

Where the insult really came was on Saturday in my own house where I can easily say that I forgot that i was supposed to be counting syns.. Yes forgot, I mean really? Yes shared a bottle of wine with my visiting brother! Had a chocolate dessert, which was 4 syns - but by this time I did not even think it worth counting. what a bad attitude. 

I found also that now i struggle to get a good breakfast in the morning, and looking back through my SW journey, it has without a doubt, most successful when i had breakfast, so I need to be able to break this deadlock. 

I think my lack of recent progress was really brought to the forefront of my mind when my lovely husband, randomly asked how the weight loss was going and I just said it was slow! he responded by telling me not to worry just to give it an extra push after all I have done it before and he knows I can do it. 

So I must not lose this next battle in the War against Indiscipline.  This week its all about the chicken and minestrone soup.  What I will say is that finally.. I found a soup that will satisfy me at lunch time. Well time will tell with that!