WAI: hold the discipline

So, today Tuesday the day of the week full of key bloody meetings starting at 9:00am is the day my senses were immune to the annoying tone of my alarm! Either that or it didn't go off! The latter swears my darling husband! Either way I was late  and all the rules of engagement I'd made just yesterday were in jeopardy!  Apart from being very late I was also very hungry, I swear there is a conspiracy against me and my desired weight loss!  It was everyone for themselves as we rushed around each other! No lift this morning and to add insult to injury the taxi did not arrive on time! I wanted to scream! I caught a bit of s break by having company on the train, but I was still a tortured I was hungry and I was rushing into a meeting with no reprieve! You can imagine that I really fancied grabbing a bacon sarni with all the trimmings, as what I had planned was out of the window now( porridge when I got into work) and so today has been a starving day I've managed to stay in plan, but at 3pm I thought I was going to drop down I was that faint! My colleague assisted by getting me a tracker bar before I was finally reunited with my lunch at 3:20! So I'm happy that I held onto my discipline! But boy it was close! 

My personal war against Indiscipline:vexatious Shame!

Poor choices

So in reality, in the traditional sense  of the word I should be so ashamed of myself right now. So here's the deal, the reason, I say this is because I have not long come back from SW club tonight where i had put on a 1 and a half, yes, its my first gain for a while, yes it could be worse, and so on and so forth! Now I had worked really hard, over the last couple of weeks to gain the losses I did, so then I just go and throw it away by lousy choices and indiscipline.  Clearly right now in this moment, I have to say, I am losing the battle, but hell I am dammed sure determined to win the war.  So we heard a lot at class today, poor planning, too much bread, too many excuses, unravelling knitting, mars bars, etc I could relate to nearly all of it, but in the end, I have to stand up and be counted. So the key thing that we did hear that we hear often and as a long time SW member I am aware of the beauty of it, of  how forgiving it is, a place where you can feel comfortable when things don't go according to plan, and then just pick up where you left off! So, my question to myself is this: how many times am I going to be doing this? Its like the you keep doing the same wrong thing to your mum, teacher who ever, and keep saying sorry. At some point we will realise its deliberate and the forgiveness may not be given.  Ok, rant over, so what am I going to do? So I love SW, the diet, the company everything about it, so i am going to have to rethink my attitude towards it.  So there is a track we use at zumba, its called no excuses. and that is the rhetoric, just do what needs to be done, I have already given up drying diet coke, so the next thing to tackle is bread, especially white bread, and rice. Well i can't give up rice, but i have decided to have at least 3 rice free days in a week. Today when I got back from Slimming world, after giving myself a good rollicking, i made some dahl, to have with grilled fish and spinach. that will be day 1 of my challenge. 

eek.... lets see... 

My personal war against indiscipline: it's time!

F

So this is it! Today I went  out for my bestos 50th birthday and this is how I looked after the event! So let's rewind back to the morning, those white trousers were a pair that I'd bought last year for a while party! At the time it was a great effort to get into them and they remained very tight!  Now they are testimony to how many inches i have actually lost! People have been saying for weeks how much weight it looks like I've lost, but I found it hard to believe as it has not shown up on the scales they came on really easily and I was really happy! 

However it got me thinking that , I could have done a lot better if I had remained focused! And that's my problem, always losing focus, making poor choices, also not taking the time to consider that rather than just worrying about what's wrong with what im doing, I should rather be thinking about what positive changes I could make! 

Now I have made some goals, which should assist with my wider aim of being fit and happy! Losing weight should be a positive side effect! 

To assist with this starting from Monday there will be no bread for msnikkidee  from Monday to Thursday and I am aiming to cut down on the amount of rice I eat, it's a food I rely very heavily on and I need to understand if its a negative contributor to my weight loss

So wish me luck folks! 

My Personal War Against Indiscipline: The Next Chapter!

So I have to return to my war against personal indiscipline?  The hiatus on being quite stern on myself has worked in some areas of my life but not others! Oh yes I've upped the anti on exercise I have even gone back to Thursday's at tae Kwan do ( let me hear a big yaaay!!) But food wise I have been on a roller coaster ride! 

Now don't get me wrong I still love slimming world and its ways but I have to be honest I have gone long periods where I just could not muster up the desire not to have cake, not to have that extra glass of wine or to make those sensible choices when I am out with friends and family!  This does not include the constant battle with those colleagues around me who insist on bringing stuff into work, and directly offering it to me and I trust me I genuinely feel bad when I see the little look of disappointment when I try to refuse and I often find myself relenting and then it's all at my expense quite often undermining good efforts I have put in else where! 

There is a slimmer's blog I follow the person concerned calls herself ( a bit of an assumption seeing as it's anonymous) weight loss bitch! Imagine that! Anyhow in one of her blog articles she talked about training in order to lose weight likening it to training for a marathon, she made a good point, an honest one as  it's not likely you can rock up at the London marathon and expect to win just on the back of turning up, so she was referring to learning about food etc , reading the books we are given and trying different things! 

For me I have decided that I am going to try a different track now and set some specific goals with milestones and everything, what have been doing before is just accepting it as a lifestyle change.  But invariably what has been happening is I have just slipped off the edge after all I have my whole life to do it yes!  Well, no actually, I need to realise the benefits of it beforehand, before I actually start to feel old! 

The actual goals and milestones will be another post, but some small wins that I have made of recent, 

 

The inch reduction, not as much as I would have liked, but a reduction none the less.

My fitness level has improved a great deal, walking to the station no longer feels like such a chore ( except if it's raining), I can do proper full press ups, even running round the dojan is not so bad -  ( and yes I still hate running) 

I have given up drinking diet coke as a comfort drink, as in I always just had one with my lunch, now I do drink more water , but not enough! 

I can now stay in the plank position for 60 straight seconds!  Quite a feat considering that initially I could not even get in the position!

Now it's quite clear that my life in this area is not balanced, in my mind's eye, if I'd paid more attention to my food that I would be at least a dress size and a half smaller by now? So I have to step up, pay attention and get on with it! 

False memory

So people, how often do you go to reach for something like a bunch of keys or a book and it's not where you'd swear that you put it?! So that's what happened to me last night, nothing really odd there, but it's just that I distinctly remember taking the keys out of my bag to put something in that I wanted to give to my friend at zumba! Thought nothing of it, until I got back home from zumba and whilst sat in my friend's car went to get the keys from my handbag and oomph they weren't there! But the thing is I was absolutely convinced that I'd left them at the zumba place, we searched and searched the car and emptied my bag which by the way contained only my water bottle, wallet and towel! All to no avail.  Queue the decision then should I go in get my own car keys and go get my spare keys, ( him indoors was home) so it's not as if I was locked out,anyhow two phone calls later I'd decided to go in first, that with trepidation I must add seeing as my beloved LFC was losing away in a champions league match and there is no consoling my sweetie when this happens and I would drive round to my friends to pick up my spare set! So I banged on my window this is customary for those who know us and immediately I got in there they were in all their glory on the corner table, and immediately I remembered putting them there! So why was i so sure that I put them in my bag?   That happens every now and then, and I'm allways so curious as to why we are convinced that we did one thing when we actually did another! It's the same as when trying to remember what we are during the day especially in relation to keeping a diary in regarding weight loss! 

Anyhow was just curious!