Happy Birthday Mum - Telephone Conversation!

So today would have been my mum's 72nd birthday. As  it's likely I would be here and she in Nigeria I would have been calling her to wish her a happy birthday! The general pattern is that I'd try in the morning, but alas I probably won't get through, bloody phones I'd lament, then try again later! 

" good afternoon Mummy, how are you?" 

"Fine, omo mi attata, what about you?"

" I called to wish you happy birthday, long life and prosperity"

Mummy always took on the prayer because she was better at it  than I, and I still feel the warmth of her voice!  So in the end it's I who really got the birthday gift!! 

" How is your husband?" Sometimes she would say Daniel instead of Dennis, ha ha - I think I get that from mummy, I'm always transposing names! 

"Is he being a good boy?"  Imagine that, too funny! 

"So what you doing?" 

" The Afars have been, and we did prayers" 

"Did you pray for me?" 

" Of course, for all of you" referring to Toks, Ronke and Yetunde and the grand kids etc

Did you have jollof rice?" Lol there was always all manner of food especially when the Afars are around' people would come and make merry and bring gifts! 

“who came?” 

“ Aunty Joko, Aunty Kemi” 

“ eh eh, but what about Aunty Tinu did she come?” 

“No, she has travelled” 

 In years past, this list would have included Aunty Sola  Aunty Bisi my mum’s younger friends.  The winds of time eh? Amazing.

Of course my brother and sister would have been there at some point with the grand children. 

Inevitably the conversation would turn to when I was coming home! In later years , Mummy always made me laugh because she had started saying that she's not coming to London, there's nothing there and if we want to see her we should come back home or make it worth her while! Lol! Not come hmm ok she did go to South Africa on holiday with my Aunty Kemi, but did she come over here? Oh yes! 

Eventually she would also ask after my friend Ozu and it would be " how is your friend Osu?" (and that is how she pronounced it!)  And I would tell her she is fine, then she'd ask about the weather and would laugh at me if i said i was cold. She would always say you should be used to it by now. I would always reply that I would never get used to it, besides the owners of the land are not used to weather. She tell me about the wedding or birthday party that she had been to, or was going to. If  it were a family wedding, then this would generally involve her calling a caterer, to make some food to assist, she assisted a lot did my mum sometimes at expense to herself.  She was so much more generous than I am, I can only try to emulate her on some level. That would not be a bad thing to do would it?

So I would tell her that I had baked her a cake, a chocolate one, although I don’t think she particularly liked chocolate cake, either way that may be a mute point seeing as she most likely would be in Nigeria and I am here, having said that, mummy has been known to eat things that she does not like, or eat any more, to please someone, for example, the time when my husband, much to the astonishment of the whole household, decided he was making breakfast (scrambled eggs) for us, I mean the helpers were beside themselves, and when i said to Mummy but you don't eat eggs, her response was “ ah as your husband is making them, I will eat them, and so she did” She was like that my mum!  So we would laugh and i would say that even though we were not together i was celebrating her birthday. 

Sometimes we'd talk about politics, she liked President Obama although she never got to see him as president, she was in a coma having suffered a stroke, and  as I watched the inauguration on the tiny TV in the hospital waiting room I remember thinking that hmm, I hope nothing happens to you, mummy was quite convinced hat something would! She'd be happy to know there has been no attempt on his life! 

So Im wondering if mummy would have had Skype by now, then we would Skype and she could say hmm, what are you wearing? I hope your extras are not showing, let me see?  She would be proud to show me herself as she would know that she looked good. 

Probably we'd sign off with her telling me to go to church, although on this occasion seeing as her birthday falls on a Sunday we'd have had that conversation at the top! 

As always mummy would end our conversation praying for me, and that by God's grace we'll speak again soon! 

You know when someone you love departs this earth, you miss them, yes? You miss the good times you shared, and perhaps even the bad times you miss the things they have done for you  but in an odd sense you miss even the bit that you are yet to have? I quite often think of things that oh, if mummy were here… or I would be in a situation and I would think mummy would have been mortified at that, just imagine.  

One of the last proper conversations that I had with mummy, was on the phone actually, and one thing we spoke about was, me giving up my job in the MOJ and come to live in Nigeria. She said to me well your husband is here, ( he was in Nigeria at the time) and what would I do mum? oh you can get a contract. ha Just like that, it was a conversation, which in the end turned out to be just that,  because the Lord came a knocking  and we are now where we are, but i don't know if that was an option I would have explored had she still been here, I will never know.  It does often cross my mind though. 

I am grateful  to have had the mother I had, I am happy when people say I look her. Rest in Peace Mummy, I hope when you look down on us, you are happy with what you see, I hope that you can feel the love we have for you and know how much we miss you. 

The thing is the only person apart from God that will be the biggest champion of your cause is your mother, and when thats gone you can feel a bit lost.