So, why not weight loss

So, I went to SW yesterday and I had put on 2 lbs which to the honest was expected, after the way I have been behaving towards food, recently. i also again have to be honest about the fact that i am buckling under the perceived strain. i find it difficult to focus, difficult not to just pick up a birthday donut and eat, difficult not to have a ( what i consider to be a) decent size bowl of cereal when i fancy it, i could go on and on, yes I have even taken to having a hot chocolate in the morning on the way to work.. can you see where Im going  this?  In my last blog post, i stated that it was time for action and i had taken a break from the war against indiscipline series! look what happened. 

At SW, there is a tool that they offer when you are struggling in this manner, I mean it has to be borne in mind that i cook amazing slimming world food, so there is not problem there, its what i do in-between meals that is my biggest downfall. Basically the consultant asks you to write down a for and against ( i.e. the pros and cons). You don’t have to share it with the class, but I’m sharing here, and the list was surprising and disappointing

The case for

1. Easy plan
2. it works, so you would lose weight
3. health benefits
4. Access to a wider range of clothes when you have lost weight
5. It will improve my self esteem
6. I enjoy the class and image therapy
7. i love my SW consultant
8. I like the ethic of the company 

The case against

1. It can be restrictive
2. Can make you feel like a party pooper
3. It makes me think ( sometimes over think) what i am going to eat i want to be free.
4. Indiscipline takes over
5. Its hard to sustain
6. The cereal portions are too small
7. The bread portions are too small
8. The cheese portion is too small

So maybe my brain is not in gear, am not sure, because when I sat down to write this it never occurred to me that I would find as many reasons against as for. That was the surprising bit, but it was also the disappointing bit.  I mean how could i find so many things against something that is so  good? I don't get it. 

At class this week, our consultant talked about the little voice in your head that tells you you can do something.  I felt my voice told me that actually it did not matter.  I was talking about this at lunchtime with my friends and they said that maybe i have two voices, as the one that says its alright is really the negative one, as it allows you to sabotage your plans, where as the one that tells you you can’t do it in actuality would spur you on as you would want to prove it wrong. This for me is very evident in my attitude to Tae kwan do, this is an activity i love a lot, and i have been to grade to attain a black belt 3 times and on 3 occasions i have been told no, you are not good enough. I still plan to go again. So why the spirit there and not in my quest to lose weight. I have upped the anti on my fitness, thats improved,10 fold just by going to zumba and walking more. I dont know that answer,  maybe because food is something that comforts, and rewards, in a way that belt, a certificate, a pay rise can’t. I don't know that answer, I don't know yet how or  what i am going to change in order to turn things around The one thing I know for sure is that i will still continue to attend SW, regardless of this list, as i am certain that things would be mighty worse if i did not, I hope that I can re-connect with my will power.